i received an amazing news yesterday: i'm employed!
but it somehow made me feel surreal? as if this is a sweet dream that i don't deserve? my whole life i've bee treated like a child - constantly needing approval and appraisal, but now i'm going into a new phase of life and she's not that chubby teenage girl who cried by the public phone in school asking for her mom to come visit during the weekend, she's not that lost teenage girl who struggles in completing her foundation studies because she seems to not be able to cope with peer pressure and the science lingo and she's not the girl who was constantly at the verge of giving up her degree because it was mentally and emotionally draining. although, she's still in fact the girl who has tremendous self-doubt and extremely self-conscious about her skills and ability, but she's working on that no worries!
honestly speaking, i've rejected several offers since september and the reasons varying from unattractive salary offered, unattractive job scopes and i even rejected my supervisor's recommendation to further my master's degree in built environment study. it was a difficult decision, no doubt, but i couldn't bare to imagine having my family supporting my studies at this age and i couldn't afford to pay it myself and with the whole ordeal with pandemic, i don't think it was a right move - not on my side.
our life is written by the best writer, i'm glad that i was able to secure a job and i'm excited to embark this new challenging journey. i honestly have no idea what to expect but i know really well that i will try my hardest, bestest, greatest to fulfill whatever is needed.
i really want to buy a lot of things for my family, and the first salary will be allocated to bring my family out for great food, and maybe spend some pennies for my own guilty pleasure. hopefully i will be able to donate some to charity and wakaf al-quran, and i guess that's it. that's my goal now.
we'll see how it goes, and until then.
bye!
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