#32

So, I just read about Naddysushi and her boyfriend who cheated on her. Even a person as pretty as her is cheget cheated on. Even Angelina Jolie was cheated by Brad.

So, I've been thinking about that thing that happened to me few months back. Well, its not that he cheated on me. Nor that we had anything to begin with.

Its just that, it sucks. You girls mustve been thinking like, move on. Its been so long. Get over it.

Hell, I'm doing my best to get over with it. But its not just a petty matter to me though. I've been thinking a lot. Like, was I too easy for him? Do I look as a merely a temporal satisfaction? A temporal place to be all mushy and pour all his sweet loving words to? Was I just a damn toy to begin with? Was it because what I did before? Was it because I ignored him too much bedore this? Was it a revenge? Did he ever meant anything he said? Was saying "i love you" a joke to him?

I wonder what were we before. I wonder what did you labelled us as. It was humiliating. It was a damn torture. It was pathetic. I felt pathetic. I feel like a damn trash.

How could you, go around giving false hope to me when I was at my weakest and left me dumbfounded with the cold truth. True, truth is better than lies. The pain was better than your sugar coated lies. You know, like the sour skittle. The sour layer gives you a slap in your face, waking you up. Gives a good amount of pain on your tongue. But the aftertaste is sweet, so sweet. It makes you forget about the first layer that wasnt a pleasant one, but it was worth it.

I told my friends about you, they told me I deserve  better. They told me you never deserved me. They said that you lost me big time, that you're going to regret this. But from I see, you're doing well, you're doing fantastic to be very honest. You're fine. You're doing okay. You never have the thought to check on me, to try and explain yourself.

But here I am, being pathetic at my best. Trying to erase every trace of you. Trying to forget everything that could relates to you.

I wish I never liked you too much. If so, I wouldn't be in such pain. If so, I won't be so broken hearted that I look like a damn loser and you won.

#31

Hey peeps. So I went to Bandung recently with my fambam. Quite fun but the only problem was it was raining the whole time and I was basically drenched wet and that's the main reason why I'm still sick with three combo-cough,flu&fever. 

I literally used up my kleenex the 50 sheets one in a day and voice is weird and I almost lost my voice and it's not a great one. But anyways, the whole trip was a bunch of joy. And I used up a lot of money, thanks Dad!!!!!

very pink

Here's the welcome snack that the Hotel gave us. Usually they serve welcoming drinks but why not. 

We bought internet data simPATI, 12gb for 100000rp which is RM35.

The makciks that wake us up at 4AM for subuh without directly waking us up.

my partner of "ambikkan gambar I dekat sini, lighting lawa, background lawa"

We went for supper bc we're damn hungry we skipped dinner for shopping.

Behind the scene of every OOTD

Here's to the kebaya that I wanted but I don't really wear kebaya but it's damn pretty.

When they took jerebu the literal way.

Family photo!

#30

Woop woop! Finally reaching the 30th post!

So anyways, I've been thinking a lot about antis and how they spend their days sending death threats and hateful comments. I mean, why.

How do they have so many times hating on someone who did nothing wrong to them and yet, they're throwing hates as if that person did so bad. I mean, saying to someone he should've died, or "your dad should've died with you", "you don't deserve to be alive", "you're a threat to the society".

Okay seriously, I mean, of course that person just doesn't meet your level of likeness or whatever. But being so hateful and discouraging is just a big no-no. Why don't you just bother with your own life and stop being a big bully so someone. Why do you waste your time and money to go to someone's concert that you didn't even like just to throw rubbish on the stage and attack someone with laser. Grow up people, the world is so old, and I believe you're older than your mental age, so behave like one. It's sickening how people get discouraged and agreed with the cyberbullies that they don't deserve to be alive and took their own life by committing suicide.

Aren't the society being to mean?

#29

Hey, it's me again. I'm writing again bc it's had been so long so why not update another one bc there's absolutely nothing better to do at home.

I went to Intec today with Syaf to meet Sarah. Aren't we cute, of course.

Anyways, we were supposedly go there yesterday but Sarah had class until evening so there's no point on going. And since she doesn't has any class on 1.30 onward today, so, today it is. Went to Shah Alam by KTM instead of driving bc its easier and yeah, no car anyways. So basically, I arrived at KL Sentral and had to wait for Syaf, not surprising. Always wait for Syaf, forever waiting for Syaf. And went to KTM and had to wait for half and hour for the train to arrive.

Met Tayrus today, I only heard of her before from Syaf and Sarah, and now got to see her, so cute and friendly. Never thought I was okay being friend with someone that I just met, but okay Syiqin, you cool.

Went back to Sarah's college at 2.30 by bus, basically the first time I had to go by bus to go back to college, you know, in Dengkil. It's almost as big as SGS is and I could just ran back to my room if I forgotten something in my room. But, well, there, it's a different story. If I ever left anything, which I always do, I'm just fucked.

So anyways, went to her room and talked and I don't even know what we did, but it was good. Went to eat a Secret Recipe and went back home. And that's just how short our meetups are but it's good.

btw, I just told Syaf about my dream about clowns in Malaysia, and guess what.

And I had wrote about this creepy clowns for my essay during SPM revision month, and guuuurl, it wasn't even cute gurl. I'm going to cry. Bye. This is the last time I'm going out because in my dream, the clowns were waiting in front of my house and they were holding a damn huge parang with blood dripping from it and they were like "Kalau berani keluarlah rumah". Bye everyone I'm sorry for the essay that I wrote before and my dream, I never thought it could be real.

#28

Hey peeps. I've finally come to save my blog from being dusty and old and boring. So, last week, I went to Cameron Highland with my parents since I have nothing to do during sem break so my dad decided to go for a short holiday. He told me to choose between Melaka and Cameron Highland. I picked the latter since my mom likes going to peaceful place and I know she needed some good rest.

Anyways, it wasn't really a fun one since there's nothing much to do. There's no reason for me to go hype over cheap vegetables, I mean, I don't even eat greens. So, yeah, my mom was having fun. Dad was busy buying vegetable for college's kitchen. And there's me, enjoying ice-cream, giant sotong goreng, cendawan goreng, anc jagung bakar. Good food accompanying me while my parents when around the market buying this and that and I was just freezing there.

But, yeah, it was a great holiday since its cold and breezy and just nooooice! Although, I almost threw up on the way to Cameron Highland because I was reading some fanfictions and the road was veeeery loopy and dad was driving as if he's on a race or something, but thank god we stop for tea, so I was feeling better. Anyways, here's some picture I took while I was there.

Ayah basically told me to take selfies bc he wants to. 

Another picture that Ayah insisted on taking. 

Here's the one Mak told me to.

"Ayah nak gambar tengah tengah bunga ni. Ambik angle jangan nampak selipar ayah."

Buzzzzzzzzzz 

 This is the Mak likes the most but doesn't want to buy bc she said if we bring this back to KL, "confirm mati, KL panas". Anyways, its called, Silver Dust.

Bought some cactus for myself. Let's just hope it'll last for a few weeks okay. 

Anyways, my mom told my brother to not get married and take of her and dad when they're old. And she insisted that I look for rich guy to get married with.