#32

So, I just read about Naddysushi and her boyfriend who cheated on her. Even a person as pretty as her is cheget cheated on. Even Angelina Jolie was cheated by Brad.

So, I've been thinking about that thing that happened to me few months back. Well, its not that he cheated on me. Nor that we had anything to begin with.

Its just that, it sucks. You girls mustve been thinking like, move on. Its been so long. Get over it.

Hell, I'm doing my best to get over with it. But its not just a petty matter to me though. I've been thinking a lot. Like, was I too easy for him? Do I look as a merely a temporal satisfaction? A temporal place to be all mushy and pour all his sweet loving words to? Was I just a damn toy to begin with? Was it because what I did before? Was it because I ignored him too much bedore this? Was it a revenge? Did he ever meant anything he said? Was saying "i love you" a joke to him?

I wonder what were we before. I wonder what did you labelled us as. It was humiliating. It was a damn torture. It was pathetic. I felt pathetic. I feel like a damn trash.

How could you, go around giving false hope to me when I was at my weakest and left me dumbfounded with the cold truth. True, truth is better than lies. The pain was better than your sugar coated lies. You know, like the sour skittle. The sour layer gives you a slap in your face, waking you up. Gives a good amount of pain on your tongue. But the aftertaste is sweet, so sweet. It makes you forget about the first layer that wasnt a pleasant one, but it was worth it.

I told my friends about you, they told me I deserve  better. They told me you never deserved me. They said that you lost me big time, that you're going to regret this. But from I see, you're doing well, you're doing fantastic to be very honest. You're fine. You're doing okay. You never have the thought to check on me, to try and explain yourself.

But here I am, being pathetic at my best. Trying to erase every trace of you. Trying to forget everything that could relates to you.

I wish I never liked you too much. If so, I wouldn't be in such pain. If so, I won't be so broken hearted that I look like a damn loser and you won.