#41

             I’ve been contemplating whether I should write about this or should I just keep it with me. It’s been bugging me and I just can’t see why it’s a big deal. Maybe it was my fault, but then everyone is different. Aren’t we all?

“That’s so rude”

            A screeching voice suddenly interrupted the class. I was paying attention to the talk given in front of the class the whole time. Of course I was shocked. What happened? I saw the lecturer walking in fast pace towards me and my friends at the back. I gave signals to my friends to put down their phone. This one particular lecturer really despise anyone who uses our phones during class, like, legit, she would go insane if she saw anyone using their phone.

            Unfortunately for me, sitting at the end of the line. She stopped right beside me. I wasn’t scared or anything. I mean, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, or did I? She snatched away my phone that I put on the right side of the desk and started lecturing about how rude it was to put our phone on the desk during class.

Wait what?

            Perplexed. I stared at her, trying to figure out, how it is wrong? I wasn’t even playing with my phone. I was listening to the talk given by pelajar tokoh fss 2017, who just graduated a few days ago. I was taking mental notes of her ways of studying and everything. Of course she did said that she never used her phone during class, I didn’t too. I only use it if I want to refer to notes online or if I ever wanted to google anything.

            This is absurd.  I told myself as the lecturer keep on talking about my ‘rudeness’ I was staring at her in disbelief and my friends were giving me eye contact, almost as if saying they were sorry. They were the ones who used their ones during class, but since I was sitting on the furthest side and she could only snatched my phone instead of theirs. I didn’t mind though, I thought that yeah okay she is just using me for example. Ok.

“Ni yang membezakan awak dengan pelajar dean list yang tengah bagi talk dekat depan. Dia baru bagitau that she ut her phone on silent mode and but it inside her bag, not on her desk. That’s why she’s a dean list student. And seeing the way you’re putting your phone on the desk, Nampak sangat you’re not paying attention. Macam mana nak Berjaya in life? See, she’s brought up by her parents who are professionals, that’s why she has great attitude unlike yours.”

            That’s when I realized, this lecturer, has gone too far. Just because the girl’s parents are specialized doctor and a lawyer. Being brought up by professionals, doesn’t mean that my parents or anyone’s parents did a bad job in raising us. Everyone is different, everyone view life and things their doing differently. Everyone have their norms, and ideology of their own, to know what’s wrong and what’s right. Everyone is different and yet, this lecturer, who obviously know how society work, since she is a lecturer of social science, who should know and understand how human socialized, how human thinks and all those related.

            My parents did a great job in raising me up, even though they were busy. If I did anything wrong, blame it on me. I was the one who decided to act like so. Not my parents, and it’s not due to how they brought me up. The thing that irked me the most would be how she said I’m not going to succeed in life. Who are you to foresee my future? Even if I’m sitting at the back, doesn’t mean I have no intention on studying well in university. My parents had sent me so far away from home, far away from my comfort zone, far away from my friends, I no longer have access to go around KL on weekends as I pleased. Yet, you’re talking shit about how I have no wawasan and semangat untuk belajar.

            You should just tell us to put away our phones and not talk about how our parents brought us up and how our future is without knowing how well I’m doing in class for the time being. How I’ve been doing pretty well, having high scores for quizzes, yet you’re confidently letting your outburst of rage and spurring things you have no power of knowing.

            I never really like this lecturer since the first class, and I’ve had enough. I still need to attend her classes in order for me to pass this subject. She even rejected our opinions when she’s obviously asked for them. During discussion, we were giving out opinions and laughing at the random ideas that popped out of someone’s mind, and being the strict ass lecturer she is, she told us to shut up and be serious, don’t laugh and whatnot. And, I’ve always thought softskill would be the most anticipated class throughout the whole semester. But she prove me wrong. I don’t understand how she is soo rigid, you’re teaching softskill for God’s sake, it was supposedly be a chill and relaxing class. But I guess, that’s not the case.

#40

This is something that I've wanted to write since forever but my procrastinating kept on forgetting this trip deserve a blog post. 

Back in July, we went to PD. Just us. DCL comeback katanya. lol. Anyways it was fun we swim a lot, eat a lot and as usual, we gossiped a lot. you know how girls are. Its been months and everyone is in their own college, no one is in the same university, but of course, except for me and Mira. We are stuck together and we're gonna grow old together.

But hey, if you guys are reading this, I miss you guys and I can't wait for our next trip together. Syadni kata we're going to Johor? See you guys soon.

Love, 

qeeute yang natural beauty

#39

Here's nothing much going on in live. I sleep late, woke up late.

I was watching some movies and then it hit me - I'm going to degree in a few weeks! That's nut!

How can a little girl like me (okay, no need to emphasize that I'm not small in terms of age and size), go through degree in a few weeks and to make it worse, they're sending me to Sarawak. What in the world was I even thinking. 

And to make it even worse, it's not the course that I've always wanted. It's that one particular course that I said to myself as I was choosing for 12 choices, "Eh, what the heck, I'll just put this to fill it the choices, I won't get this ever." 

So, that's karma for you, girl. 

I've been contemplating whether or not to go that far for my degree. It's for 4 years for god's sake! 

I've built up courage and gathered strength from people around me, telling me that they believe I'll be just find, telling me I'll do well, telling me 4 years is not too long (okay but seriously wth)

The thought of being to far away from my family makes me shudder. Never in my life has I ever been more than 70km away from home. The furthest I've been was in Seremban for 2 years. Now that I'll be going to Sarawak fro 4 years, completing my degree in the course that I have no idea how I'm going to make myself like it, I seriously messed up. But I believe God has planned my journey for better. So I shall do whatever it takes, to survive that far.

I keep thinking to make an appeal, but I thought about how poorly I did on my finals and to be able to get a place for degree, I should be thankful and go with it. 4 years. I'll come back in 4 years, graduating with honor. 

I'm going to miss Kuala Lumpur, I'm going to miss KLCC. But I'll be fine. Pray for me. My heart goes to my friends who haven't yet gotten accepted in any Universities, I know you guys will do well, just pray and stay positive. 

Till then, bye.

#38

I'm not friendly and I have no plan to be one. Someone I just met in Petrosains said I was friendly, I wasn't impressed, I know I'm not one. 

I find it hard to make friends and to just casually lepak with anyone I just met. I don't like it, I feel anxious. Whenever a guy started to approach me and be all friendly I would thought that it was maybe a bet they did with their friends. Did I developed a new phobia? I guess I did. 

When someone called me Qin instead of Syiqin or Qee, it felt weird and a tad bit uncomfortable. I get it, Syiqin might be too long or Qin sounds cuter than Syiqin. But the only ones who called me Qin is my family and close friends; Kinah, Alia, Adenn, Iman, Fatin, Lala, Yana. 

It's not that I don't want them to call me Qin, it's just that the name brings the sense of affections and closeness that I thought the name itself is special. But so many started calling me Qin to the point I'm giving up on the special nickname and I'm letting them call me whatever they want. Call me sayang or yours while you're at it.

#37

“A woman who doesn't wear perfume has no future.”
― Coco Chanel

I won't go anywhere without wearing perfume. I always have a mini perfume in my bag no matter where I go. Essential. Almost as important as my life. Eh, takdalah, drama sangat tu.

But I'm really particular about smell. Thus, the obsession on perfumes, body mist, body lotion, shower gels and what else? Whatever smells good. I dig it.

So as for today, I'm going to write about fragrance.

“A woman's perfume tells more about her than her handwriting. ”
― Christian Dior

We'll buy perfumes according to our preference and that will tell about herself. Why is that so? There's soft smell, strong, sexy, fresh, musky, spicy the range is wide.

I'm more of the fruity kind of person, but recently I've develop new preference; musky.

Here's the list of my favorite fragrant:

#1 The Body Shop White Musk.

So here's the very common perfume for ladies. This is my new favorite, my brother bought it for me as early birthday present. hihi.

I find this smells like a beautiful crisp, fresh musk - very clean and quite light for a mush which is refreshing and not heavy like musk perfumes can sometimes be. Soft Floral, Crisp - Musk The Body Shop White Musk Eau De Toilette is a soft scent. It has top notes of musk, lily, ylang ylang with hints of galbanum and basil. It has middle notes of musk, jasmine, lily and rose and base notes of musk, jasmine, rose, iris, amber, patchouli, vetiver with hints of peach, oakmoss and vanilla.

It smells very feminine and I don't know how to describe it, but it just smells amazing! Must have!

 #2 Victoria’s Secret Pink Wild At Heart Body Mist

It smells so clean, fresh, and feminine.  I make it a point to spray it always when I go out and get compliments from even strangers. Also, the body mist has aloe conditioner, which is very good for the skin. The best part is that it has a very delicate touch of scent which is not at all strong, it’s very delicate and soothing.The scent is composed of red passion fruit and sheer musk, giving an adventurous, lively, playful, and girly sense. It seemed to almost be too sweet for me in the beginning, but as most other fragrances, once it is aired out it is simply delightful.

I like the packaging too. It's sheer pink and gives out the feminine and youthful vibe.

#3 Victoria's Secret Secret Charm Body Mist

An irresistible, fresh fragrance. Enchant in Secret Charm, a bright bouquet of fresh honeysuckle captivated by calming soft jasmine. Experience the luxury of fragrance. Refreshing formula is infused with conditioning aloe vera and chamomile. Spray on for a sexy touch of scent.

In my personal point of view, this one gives out very fresh smell and idek but since it's a body mist so it doesn't stays long. After a few hours the smell has disappeared and you need to reapply it every now and then to get the long lasting smell. But, it's the combination of fresh and floral smell.

This is my perfumes, for now. I'm thinking of selling some of these because I need to get some new perfumes for myself. But tbvh I'm gonna stick with the white musk for awhile.

My actually love of my life is Victoria's Secret Mango Temptation. I've been using that since 2011. But sadly it's hard to get it, everytime I went to VS it'll be out of stock. But, seriously, it smells amazing! I used to use it everyday and everyone knows how I smell. Even if I stand behind someone and they could smell my perfume, they'll know it's me.

But yeah, it's okay. I'll use white musk for a long time until everyone know it's me from afar.

Another one of my favorite would be Ralph by Ralphy Lauren, it smells quite strong, but fresh. CK One Shock, fresh and quite fruity smell, suitable for teenangers.

For body mist, I couldn't leave out Bath and Body Work. I love love love love Velvet Sugar! But they don't have it anymore! It smells sweet af istg so sweet! I loooooove the smell so much! Warm Vanilla also smells good. But I only use these sweet fragrance before I went to sleep. (ikr, who tf would waste their perfumes for bed? me)

oooookay, that's all. I need to go to work tomorrow. So, bye!